Help! I Have Kids!

ADHD Unpacked with Mental Health Therapist Allison Leip | Episode 8

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ADHD shows up in real life in ways that aren’t always obvious—and it can deeply affect the rhythms of home and family.

In this episode, Pam sits down with Allison Leip, an associate Mental Health Therapist and mom of twin toddlers, who brings both professional insight and personal experience to the conversation. Together, they unpack common signs of ADHD, the challenges families face, and practical strategies to make daily routines easier.

Topics covered include:

  • What ADHD can look like at home beyond hyperactivity
  • How symptoms may impact family rhythms and relationships
  • Ways parents can reframe “misbehavior” through the lens of ADHD
  • Simple systems and strategies that lower stress without overhauling your entire life
  • Encouragement for moms who feel isolated, judged, or overwhelmed

ADHD doesn’t mean your home has to be chaotic—or that you’re failing as a parent. With the right tools, love, and support, families can thrive.

Subscribe to Help! I Have Kids Podcast for more practical conversations with pediatric experts, and follow us on Instagram @helpihavekidspodcast
for updates and encouragement.

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UNKNOWN:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to Help, I Have Kids. I'm your host, Pam Marshall, a mom of five and a pediatric occupational therapist with over 35 years experience. This podcast is designed to equip you with practical tools, insights from experts and real life stories. Because at the end of the day, you are the head of your child's care team. Each week, you'll hear from pediatric experts and fellow moms like you that will help build your confidence. They'll offer clarity Hi, I'm Pam with HELP. I have kids podcast. This is episode eight. We're talking about ADHD today and this is part one. I'm here today with my special guest, Allison Leap. She is a mental health therapist and mom of twin toddlers. Oh my word. Two and a half. And we're kicking off this series on ADHD. What does it look like in real life and how can you better support your child with ADHD? I know you as a mental health therapist have so many insights for us, but why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So I am a mom of twin toddlers, like you said. I am not from Kentucky, so I've actually done a couple career paths before I became a therapist, including being a high school teacher. So helping families also navigate school and other spaces. I've been an athletic director and a coach wow um yeah and I am I have become a therapist often out of like my own childhood and my own experiences too which I feel like allows me to connect to families and kids that we serve yeah you have a lot of

SPEAKER_01:

extra talent

SPEAKER_00:

so many talents I'm an onion just peel away the parts

SPEAKER_01:

well since you're also a young mom I get to ask you what this is my favorite question to ask. What is the favorite piece of advice that someone offered to you as a mom? That's something you've really appreciated. I

SPEAKER_00:

think one of the things I have repeated back to myself over and over and over in the late nights and early mornings or even in the middle of the day with all the chaos is that they are not giving you a hard time. They're having a hard time. And just that little cognitive reframe there can sometimes help me take a minute to regulate myself before like I jump into the situation or can even signal that I need to move. Yeah. Move myself to a different space for a second before I move forward.

SPEAKER_01:

That is really good. So it's kind of like an internal reset. Yes. And was that someone special that gave you that little wisdom or did you read it? I

SPEAKER_00:

think I read it a long time ago yeah way before i entered motherhood um i think i had read that and came across it and so even when i was teaching or coaching like a lot of times when i would see a child becoming dysregulated i'd be like okay this behavior is communication to me and they're having a hard time so like how can i meet them where they're at um and that they're not trying to actually give me a hard time

SPEAKER_01:

that's an interesting way of thinking that i think sometimes isn't natural for us as moms because sometimes we're reactive like what are they doing that for you know we're just reactive

SPEAKER_00:

yeah we have our adult brain bias that I like to call it so it's like that doesn't make sense to me why are we having this reaction to the situation and so sometimes it helps just take a step back and remind them like they're still learning there's a lot of things they have to practice first

SPEAKER_01:

yeah that's good and I'm sure you've had to exercise that quite a bit with twin toddlers yes Yeah, for sure. So ADHD, it's not just about hyperactivity because we know there are different types, but some of our listeners, moms may not really be knowledgeable about the different types or how it can show up at home. So what are some signs that parents may notice or see in their everyday life that signal, oh, my child may have ADHD?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So I think like you said, a lot of times it's been framed as like a child having a really hard time sitting still and

SPEAKER_01:

focusing

SPEAKER_00:

it can also be like kind of daydreaming or them having a hard time focusing remembering things forgetting things being in the middle of doing something moving to another activity so you have your hyperactivity and impulsivity and then we also have our inattentiveness and yeah and then the combo. So it can look like a lot of different things. And I also, while we talked about this, I want to point out that a lot of times ADHD in female children presents very differently. A lot of those things are internalized, so it can make getting a diagnosis for a female child a little bit more challenging because those things might be happening within them and we might not always get to see the full picture of what is actually happening.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that makes sense. And with boys, it seems like we know that it's more prevalent in boys or at least it appears to be it appears to be for sure yes and I had a child who had the inattentive type so he would have no concept of time or moved as slow as a turtle and even as a high schooler had a morning routine that took a full hour and a half to an hour and 45 minutes you know just could not speed up and you know it's you feel like you're pulling your hair out as a mom of a child with ADHD both the you know whether you have the inattentive type or the hyperactive type they're both very very challenging

SPEAKER_00:

yeah it's demanding it can be exhausting at times and you feel like a broken record having to help them practice those skills over and over and over again they can create a lot of tension in that parent-child relationship. Yes and the

SPEAKER_01:

family that kind of leads me to this next question is as both a professional and a mom how have you seen ADHD impact rhythms like family rhythms and routines you know things like even a family choosing to go out to dinner together or maybe they're trying to sit down and do a family game together or activity together how do you see that impacting those family times?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah so I think um I wanted to kind of jump off your story a little bit. Routines. So them taking longer than usual. We kind of get distracted in our routine. We're supposed to be doing something else and then we forget something. Mom has to run ball shoes back to school in order for them to be prepared for practice. So I think that a lot of times it can create increased strain. Things take longer than usual. Or sometimes because we kind of anticipate that like my child is going to become dysregulated. Maybe we avoid doing some of the things that might actually help improve the parent-child relationship because we're worried about the backfire of like if we're engaging in this game. Trying to avoid the problem behavior. Yes, altogether.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I think about some of the strategies that fortunately had the OT– mom hat and had just the regular mom hat. But being an occupational therapist, we do this thing called backward chaining. And it just means you have a goal in mind, like say your goal is that your child would be dressed head to toe independently, right? That's a normal skill that a child should do. And when you think about a child with ADHD, you know, a seven-year-old is so distracted, they can't get dressed head to toe sometimes. And it's a struggle to get out the door. So how do you make that happen without screaming at them to make that happen. And, you know, how do you build that independence in some of those routines? But this skill of backward chaining worked great. So if your end goal is to be fully dressed independently, then you start with the child fully dressed. So you start at the bedtime routine of undressing and getting undressed first and getting the clothes in the learned you start working on that that dressing part but you you back it up step by step by step by step so if if you start and get them started and do so much with them and then they finish it out and then you slowly back up and they do more and they finish more on their own and then eventually they can do the whole task kind of by themselves but just breaking it down for them is really helpful yeah sometimes breaking those tasks down in routines

SPEAKER_00:

yeah and I think also I'm sure as an OT like using visual schedules or like even individual trackers for them with like the broken down steps to get through can be super helpful especially for younger children I'm always like let's make it a visual schedule let's put it where they can see it and I also think autonomy is super important especially for neurodivergent children because a lot of times them having that self-confidence of like no I these are the things that I have to do. And I know that if I follow this, like I can reach completing the task.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Some of it is just the, ah, of being done.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Getting to the done part.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. But the visual schedules and like you said, like breaking down the task into concrete things. So I also always encourage families to practice using declarative statements. And so like this can help redirect too of when you get your shoes on I'll help you in the car that way we can almost like reduce a demand too for them while also helping build that other skill

SPEAKER_01:

yeah that that is a really good one when they're super super young you state the fun thing that they want to do like maybe it's I have your snack get in the car first and I have your snack so they know they have to get their shoes and get in the car to get the snack and so you kind of lure them there without letting letting them really know what you're doing. And then as they're older, like you said, using some different tactics to get them to make that transition. Yes. That's good. Yeah. Transitions are some

SPEAKER_00:

of the hardest. And you mentioned snacks. Always like picking up from school or like in transitions, if we can have a snack and hydrate in those moments, a lot of times it's going to help their emotional regulation. And I

SPEAKER_01:

was on a journey when my ADHD child was young and there wasn't as much known or talked about back then about healthy food and healthy choices. I just am blessed with a mom that taught me great things. She taught me, you know, to eat whole real food. And so we would just have this saying, let's eat food the way God made it, you know, the way it comes natural, not processed. And so a lot of times ADHD children love really vibrant flavors and spicy and hot and they might be particular about some of their tastes or some of their food choices but trying to keep it um dye free and sugar free and as much whole real food and having your child be a part of that process like if you can having them help make some things and be a part of food prep is is good as well so that they're not just saying no i don't like that or you know that they're actually part of some of it and getting to taste it maybe as they cook it or as they prepare it

SPEAKER_00:

yeah and I think you can by involving them in the process like you said you're building skills you're also a lot of ADHD children are super they look forward to doing things like they look forward to connecting they're very most times like willing and enthusiastic about doing things that feel fun to them and I think doing things with their body with their hands learning how to cook like for some kids that's like oh yeah like I want to make my own snack show me how to do this like let me do this

SPEAKER_01:

the doing is fun

SPEAKER_00:

yes yeah and so it can take some of the struggle out of that even going to the grocery store giving them small tasks like oh do you think you can go grab X amount of bananas for me and also again going back to the autonomy piece of like That helps them feel good about themselves.

SPEAKER_01:

I was going to say that. What are the strategies? Because I recognize that as a mom. I'm sure many of our listening moms right now realize, and I might cry talking about this, but it's so hard for our ADHD kids. They hear so many negative things all day long. And, you know, sometimes it does come from us. We don't mean it to. But it's so hard. Like we might be saying, stop that. Do this. get over here now do this you know and it's just they're bombarded with a lot of negative things and I know when we had our child diagnosed I believe he was maybe nine at that time around that age nine ten and he had a wonderful psychologist work with him and he said he's such a beautiful soul if you as parents you know if your main job can be just to not let other people wreck him like just keep from other people's voices wrecking him on the inside and sorry I'm getting emotional here but I remember it was such a beautiful thing for a parent to hear because then I took on that role of you know it's my job to help encourage him to help him feel good to help him feel good about the things he can do and the things he's doing right and it really woke me up to that and I I'd love to hear more ways or things that you help your parents find to encourage children. So what are some of those strategies and

SPEAKER_00:

things that parents can do? So I think even being intentional about setting up ways for your children to have wins so that you can catch them doing something like a skill well. And I think some of that engaging in things that they're interested in so that you can see that That enthusiastic side of them or the really passionate, creative side of them. But I think even, again, like smaller tasks that catch them doing good, focus on their strengths. And so things like with the routines, I know that some clinicians probably encourage use of reward charts. I think we have to be cautious about like how much we're using them, what we're using as rewards. But I do think like even as adults we kind of reward ourselves for the week sometimes I'm like oh if I can make it to Friday I might get myself a Starbucks at the end of the week so sometimes we as adults naturally do this to kind of motivate us to get through things naturally motivate ourselves yeah and so I think for children like helping them find whether that's connection of let's get through your homework and then we'll have 20 minutes of time to spend together and really rewarding them with like quality time but trying to find ways where like you your child feels confident in themself with whatever that looks like. And like you said, I think there was a study done. And from this study, there were estimates between, I think it was just elementary school, which is about five years. It was over 20,000 negative interactions or comments made. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. It

SPEAKER_01:

really is a lot. They hear a lot of negative. They're bombarded with a lot of negative things. So I think your mom role, when you do have a child with ADHD, is learning the skill of how can I build my child up? Not fake or fluff words, but actual real things. Like when you notice they do get their dirty clothes in the hamper or in the right spot, you really are able to say, hey, thanks, great job. You got your clothes exactly where they needed to go. And just notice when they do those right things because there's so many things they're not doing. And sometimes we have to understand the balance between they need the responsibilities of learning those tasks and not letting them off the hook with them but we we it can feel like we're just saying you didn't do this you didn't do that you didn't I need you to hurry I need you to hurry I need you to get in the car I need you to whatever and be so conscientious about setting their environment up and their world up so that they can be successful in some of these things and gain that independence you know I think I I think hobbies are so important too. Finding out our little guy at age five started asking to play the violin and the violin is an incredibly difficult instrument. And I didn't know he had ADHD at the time. I mean, I knew there were things about him that were different and I was suspecting it, but he's so bright and smart that, you know, it really didn't show up till that fourth grade third fourth grade when when we really started having or he started having problems but having that instrument little did i know what that would do in his life so i think all children have something that um even if you know at the time we didn't have a budget yeah we didn't have extra money to start violin or it's an expensive you know to do music lessons and buy a violin but you know there was a way um And things started to happen. And someone gave him a violin. And then we had a friend that was a teacher that just decided to teach him. And just all these things fell into place. And now, you know, I want to hear a cool story. I do. I do want to hear a cool story. So any moms that are listening, there's hope. Our ADHD child is a professional musician in New York City, of all places, living and making it there. So great. And actually, he wrote and produced... our jingle for our company wow and it is a really fun beautiful little jingle and you'll have to listen to it sometime but he is a successful musician in New York City

SPEAKER_00:

yeah um when so I don't think we chatted about this before but when children get a diagnosis a lot of times parents ask me like how much should we talk about it do we make this a norm um I think a we get a diagnosis like will they say that like I have ADHD I can't do that so I think how we introduce this idea of like sometimes there are differences in our brain and those differences make certain things more challenging for us to do and we have to work really hard at those things and then there are some things that feel much easier like we have amazing abilities to be having ADHD and so for your child like musicians there are a lot of musicians who have come out athletes who are like yeah I have ADHD and this has kind of been the challenging piece of this but there are incredible people who do have this that I think children should understand that they still are able to do the things that they enjoy regardless and

SPEAKER_01:

actually we would use some of that language we would say you know yeah you have ADHD but you are a boy first and a wonderful boy and it's actually going to be your superpower we would talk about how it's your superpower and it is his superpower because he can hyper focus like it's such a gift that he has and yes sometimes that hyper focus sometimes it's hard for relationships or other things you know around him are challenged he ebbs and flows in things but it is a superpower that he has and he knows it he can you know when children are gifted in a certain way they can really succeed in that giftedness.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Flourish in like

SPEAKER_01:

those skills that they find interesting. And I think talking about it and making that positive is good. Well, what are some practical adjustments mom can make to reduce stress in the home? Like, can you think about some things to reduce stress? Because it is, it's very stressful on the parent because, you know, I know how I felt making a constantly learning and trying to set the environment up and keeping his world simple the simpler his room could be the simpler number of pieces of clothing or the simpler number of shoes and tasks he had to deal with and the simpler it was the better the outcome for him so I was constantly working at that so what what would be some things that kind of reduce that stress

SPEAKER_00:

yeah I think this is going to look so different depending on the family how many children are involved are we a working mom with another working partner but schedule and routine if we can stick to like a pretty consistent routine so that children know what to expect and I think you said reduce demand like if we can take away some of those things or streamline tasks why not make that less of you know the mental load for you and your child I think I think also when we talked about visual schedules, if we can create them or if we can partner with like a professional to create them, I think if we can build autonomy within the child and have them do tasks like modeling first, then checking in with the schedule and then having them do it independently. And if we start to notice like, oh, I'm noticing this feels a little bit harder, go back. Go back and model with them, work it through with them again. And I think to– When we talk about space, space is really important. And so I think if we are creating a space where our child knows whether that's a calming corner, like a movement space where they can move their body and regulate their body because like, you know, as an OT, they need to move. And so with children who are hyperactive or impulsive or inattentive, like we have fidgets or moving your body. Like I can't say still taking breaks. So maybe structuring. Wiggle

SPEAKER_01:

seats are good.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Or like even structuring routines where we're focusing on the task for five to 10 minutes, we take a five minute break. Setting timers. I really encourage timer use. We can set if a child has a tablet or you have a phone that they can use. Okay. Like there's five minutes and then we need to move on to the next step.

SPEAKER_01:

And I think many, almost most children, if not all, that have ADHD really have no timing or rhythmicity. There's nothing. And that is why that is one positive about music is if you use a metronome a metronome is set on you know a beat a specific beat and whether it's every one second or every half second or whatever it's set on it's a rhythm it creates rhythmicity and that is a really neat thing to get a kid with adhd um i love using a metronome with those kids and and it it just teaches that that rhythmicity and having those like you said, different places to maybe do homework or they can stand at the kitchen counter. They don't have to sit. Or as long as the area they're in is clear from clutter, that's the best thing is trying to put as much clutter away as possible. And for a while, I used a therapy ball and a desk and the desk had nothing on it because I was so busy. I was helping other children and I put this one on nothing. on the desk and just the ball and sometimes I would come back and he was still just tapping his pencil and there was nothing done on his paper and I'd be like oh no but just getting creative with space like you said is another strategy I think that reduces the stress

SPEAKER_00:

yeah and I think there is a saying it's like if you've met one ADHD child you've met one child so I think that making sure that you get input and buy in from the child because I'm I'm going to throw myself under the bus. There's a lot of times I have systems that work for me, but they don't end up working for the rest of my family. So then I have to go back to the drawing board and be like, okay, I need to create a buy-in here. Like what is working for everyone? So there's sometimes it's like just simplifying it where it's like, okay, there's a basket on the stairs. We're going to put all of our downstairs stuff in the basket. And then at the end of the day, we're going to do that together. We're going to take everything back upstairs that you played with. Cause I think things, things can feel chaotic. Like we, play with one thing and then we're on to the next thing and the next thing, you know, like your floor is covered with all of the things or because organization is another thing that feels really challenging sometimes. And

SPEAKER_01:

let's talk about rooms for a minute. Oh, yes. You know, lots of us have different opinions on a child's room and how that should be set up. I know personally, we set it up to be the child's safe space. So it's their space where if they're angry or if they have big emotions That's where they go. They go not as a punishment, but more as a safe space. Like you can actually be angry here. You can hit your pillow. You can, as long as you're not destroying anything, you can get this anger and aggression out. This is a safe space for you. You can rest. You can listen to music. You can do anything quiet. And we kept toys and sort of rowdy things out of the room. You know, we didn't really have toys in there other than the quiet that Yeah. frustrating for you but let's go to your room you can find something that helps you and if you need to get all that out there and then when your body's calm and you feel calm inside you can come back out and join us in this you know I would talk to them like it's not a punishment it's a this is a positive thing your room is a positive place to go and be yourself and feel the emotion that you have so do you have anything to add to that like how to set rooms up or space up

SPEAKER_00:

I agree I think simplifying, creating a safe place, maybe like a cozy corner. If they, you know, like the soft blankets or like a weighted stuffy or they like stuffies or they can squeeze or like get their anchor out, punch it. I also think that books, if we can have like a book or even, I love like the- Listening to books

SPEAKER_01:

are good too. A lot of times moms don't think about that i love you can actually listen to books do you know what those

SPEAKER_00:

are

SPEAKER_01:

no

SPEAKER_00:

tony boxes it's the little characters you put on the box and they have mindfulness ones that actually can walk you through different mindfulness activities and they have stories like different disney stories or they have music ones with different songs and they also have um for like older children they have information so like if your child is really into octopus or sea creatures or yeah so like it can be informational learning but yeah there's a big variety and I think it's a great tool to add to a space like that

SPEAKER_01:

that is that's helpful to have those resources and I think we can include some of those you know as a reference to this podcast what would you say to moms who really feel isolated and alone in this journey or maybe they feel judged because you know when you have a hyperactive impulsive child you can feel it when you walk in a room and there might be peers or other moms with children in that space like a birthday party or something and people are just kind of looking at you like oh here he comes yeah or here she comes or you know you can feel it that your child's being judged or maybe you are what can what advice can you offer to moms that are feeling that way

SPEAKER_00:

yeah so I think back to the quote that I said at the beginning of like They're not giving you a hard time or trying to give everyone else a hard time. They're having a hard time. They're probably so enthusiastic that they're out and about and doing things and feeding off other people's energy or just really excited. Maybe, again, emotional dysregulation does happen. We get overstimulated by our environment. But moms themselves, you are not your child's behavior. Say that again. You are not your child's behavior. behavior and I think that when we are able to surround ourselves with people and I think it's hard you go into a social setting where you're not really familiar with people they don't know your child

SPEAKER_01:

no they don't

SPEAKER_00:

they don't yeah so I think it's easier said than done to go into a space I think that creates a lot of vulnerability for moms and I

SPEAKER_01:

think what you're talking about is kind of we're dying to our reputation as a mom like Like, we desire to be great moms, but how good I am is not tied to my child's behavior. That's what you're saying, right? Yes. Just because my child's behavior might look poor to the group or the people I'm walking into or in this setting or as compared to other children, it's not a reflection of how good I am as a mom. Yeah. Yeah. Or how good or

SPEAKER_00:

bad your child is. The

SPEAKER_01:

behavior. Yes,

SPEAKER_00:

the behavior. being out here being around other people learning how to interact and um yeah I think if we we think about it as like them being able to practice their skills um I think that can help us change our mind too because if we just keep them at home or if we just stay at home that doesn't help our support that doesn't help our level of community like it's true if we need a village we have to go out into the world

SPEAKER_01:

yeah that's really true and that makes me think of another point is we don't want to let our children off the hook, like meaning just because they have this challenging behavior or challenges that come with ADHD, we don't want to have that child not do their chores or not go to this birthday party or not be able to let them off the hook on responsibilities or social things. We want to encourage some of those things. And yes, there might be times we decide, well, this activity maybe isn't the right time or the right thing to do. And so we say no to some of those things. But I think not feeling like you're held hostage, I guess, or having to make inappropriate accommodations for your child, making

SPEAKER_00:

the right accommodations. Yeah. And I think it comes down to safety. Our job as parents is to keep our child safe. It's not always to make them happy. And so a lot of times, like by whole them accountable for things or having realistic expectations of like, we're going to try this. We might, we might end up having to leave and that's okay. Yeah, that is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and I want to encourage the moms listening today is, you know, your child, they will, they will match kind of what your beliefs are, what your kind of the goals that you have for them. And they'll rise to the occasion. I mean, even children with ADHD, they'll rise to the occasion. So you can do it, moms. I know it's challenging. I've walked that road and it feels like some days you just want to pull your hair out. But you can do it. You've been just the one to encourage and to love your child through these challenges. Well, to wrap things up, how can we also help moms hear some encouragement? Like how can we help moms hear some encouragement? can we, are there some things that moms need to hear? Like some truth they need to hear?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So I think knowing that ADHD kids are often, because they have a harder time with those executive functioning tasks, I think having just more realistic expectations, knowing that there might be a little bit I guess to our society they might come off as a little bit less mature but knowing that most ADHD kids are well become well adjusted adults with proper supports in place and I think moms also need to know like they are never alone so I think finding that community where you're going to feel encouraged where you're going to feel supported whether that's with professional help finding Finding other friends or family members who might be able to be like your cheerleader on the sideline where it's like, hey, check in with me. How are things going? Is there anything that I can do? We all need a village and this like parenting is not meant to be done alone. But when you have a child who does need extra support, that can feel almost even more challenging because it's like, do I risk the vulnerability of having other people see things and and maybe my child not behaving the way that society wants them to behave or

SPEAKER_01:

suffering the consequences like sometimes you know when you think about older children that are in high school yes um sometimes they have to suffer the consequences of their choices and things that they forget because they forget things all the time and maybe you don't go bring them lunch or you don't rescue them with the things that they forgot they they They feel the pain of that and walking out some of those challenging things.

SPEAKER_00:

And I think having professional support to help you know like what is a developmentally appropriate natural consequence to things and when should I come in or when do I need to take a step back and kind of let them figure that out on their own.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's great. And there was a tip I wanted to share that worked really great is– When my child got to ninth grade, I thought to myself, okay, not sure yet. I think he might go to college, but not sure. You know, he was talking like he wanted to go to college. But whatever, he was going to move out or go on his senior year after his senior year was going to have a next step. So I thought, how, because I couldn't picture him living alone and doing all the things that need to be done. But, you know, the first step is he was on medication as well, and he was on a controlled substance. So part Part of that means you had to physically go and get the prescription from the doctor's office every month. And, you know, again, we used backward chaining and just gave him all the things. Each year he did more tasks and more tasks and more tasks to become, you know, independent. And, I mean, he was washing all his own clothing. He was managing his schedule. He was telling us where he had to be and when he had to be, you know, some of those kind of things. We did have to support him through lots of steps of getting to All the applications and things like that. Yeah. Sometimes just sitting

SPEAKER_00:

with them in that discomfort of like, this is really hard for you. You're not really sure what to do. Or we really didn't get a chance to talk about it, but it can also impact like our social relationships with peers. and things like that. And so sometimes just providing that support rather than adding our own advice or input.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, there's been a lot we've talked about today and hopefully moms listening. I want you to feel encouraged and supported. So is there like some hope, something you can leave them? I want to hear what you have to say to moms that might be real hopeful for them to walk away with.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Just because you may have a child with ADHD Does not mean that you're going to have to overhaul your whole entire life, your home. I think just like taking small steps to provide support, get them support through school, build relationships with teachers, with other professionals, just so that you have people in your corner. And like I said, most people when we like reach adulthood, most people are well-adjusted adults, but it feels really challenging in the moment the day in and the day out the reminders the coming along behind them and alright we gotta go let's go let's go but I think that when we're able to focus on our child's strengths and realize that like each child is a gift and they have a gift and they're here for a purpose and trying as hard as you can like part of this is tied into that so that they can be enthusiastic to that so that they can be the person that they were created to be.

SPEAKER_01:

And you moms, you can do it. I know if I did it, you certainly can do it. So we're cheering you on. But thank you so much, Allison, for being on Help I Have Kids. Thanks so much for listening to Help I Have Kids. If you're tuning into this podcast, that means you're a mom who's curious, committed, and ready to learn. And we see you. We'd love for you to join our Help I Have Kids I have kids Facebook community where moms just like you are connecting asking questions and encouraging each other every day it's a space for real conversations expert insight and support from moms who get it because we're all in this together and if you know a mom who's feeling unsure or maybe overwhelmed or just needs to be reminded that she can do it she can advocate for her child with confidence share this episode with her we're building a village here and we're glad you're a part of it.